Hi everyone!

This is my first posting on this blog called I Want to Go to There. Where do I want to Go? To God's Promise: to work out with perseverance the salvation that Christ has already worked in me. 

I was watching the movie Elektra yesterday. Even though it was panned by the critics, I enjoyed it for a theme that I detected in it. The main character is a woman who was redeemed by the force of good.  She makes her livelihood assassinating people at the start of the film.  However, through the course of her adventures and the choices she makes along the way, she discovers that good that was created/sown into her from the beginning. Free will and predestination are mysterious and wonderful concepts, escaping our understanding but true nonetheless...the interface of God and man.


Recently, I've found myself standing at this horizon (or maybe I just became aware that I have been there), working with God toward that reward which comes only by way of longsuffering faith and daily walking. Life has been complicated lately, as it is for everyone at some point. On May 7th of this year, my wonderful husband, Mike, and I found out that we are expecting! The first trimester saw me through a fair share of vomitting, but it wasn't until the second trimester that this current travail began. Through a series of events which included a sudden plummet in my thyroid hormones, a stress-inducing visit from my mother (who is, please note, an amazing person), I somehow fell into the clutches of prenatal depression. It started with insomnia, then obsessive thoughts, then progressed into four days in a psych ward, seven weeks of hanging between light and dark, a few weeks of unbridled joy from being freed from all the discomfort, another descent and, finally, a slow ascent. I've found that prenatal depression is not something widely discussed, and that depression in general is frequently discussed but with little understanding. I hope to be an ear and a shoulder one day for those going through similar tunnels. For now, I'll just write.