Operation Christmas Child

In an effort to preserve some heavenly treasure, I hadn't planned on making this story public...but then...I became a fan of Operation Christmas Child on Facebook.  Through it, I came across this contest to write about our family's shoebox story, sponsored by www.reallifeblog.net.  What a great idea to raise awareness for OCC's important work to underserved children around the world!  ...and the Veggies Tales prize is cool too :) 

 

Our journey to this year's EXTRAVAGANZA began a decade ago, when my husband and I started dating during college.  We wanted to dedicate our relationship to the works of the Lord, so that first Christmas, we decided that we really weren't interested in receiving gifts from one another.  We both had great love for children, and decided to have a child represent each of us and purchase a Christmas gift for him/her.  Mike bought a little girl's present, and I bought a little boy's gift.  We dropped our gifts into the Toys for Tots bucket that was placed at Phelps Gate on Yale's Old Campus.  For the next three years, we did the same...sometimes two presents...it's hard to choose just one toy from the toy department...hey, at least we dropped them in the bucket...ok, sometimes it was hard, but we did it :)    

Before we knew it, it was time for us to get married (by the way, that is literally how he proposed:  "Ducks [he calls me Ducks], I think it's time we get married."  HAHA!  After a beautiful wedding day in my hometown of Chicago, we took two weeks and crisscrossed the country in a rented Buick, hitting all the cities and national parks we'd always wanted to see.  It was our version Route 66, which started in Chicago and ended in LA.  

 

We settled in Orange County, California and started to build our little nest.  Traditions are important to both of us, so we decided to continue the "adopt-a-child-for-Christmas" one.  We had been giving to some of Samaritan's Purse's disaster relief funds, so by the time the holidays rolled around, we were excited to participate in its Operation Christmas Child effort.  What you do is pack shoeboxes with things that will bring joy to a child and these shoeboxes get delivered all over the world with a message of God's love for them.  That first year of marriage, we packed a box for a girl and a box for a boy.  As we settled into our work, the holidays were a time for us to reflect on how bountifully God had been to us in every way that year, and every year, there was always more bounty to share.  By our fifth Christmas together, we were packing multiple boxes for multiple little girls and boys.  We always looked forward to that big, joyous shopping trip to Target.  We loved discussing the needs of our adopted little people together.  We loved playing with the cool toys in the toy department together.  It deepened our love for one another and helped us look forward to parenting.   

This year, it all dawned on me!  Since my husband and I have been married, we have added a sister-in-law (a wife for Mike's older brother), a daughter (our little Vera) and a brother-in-law-to-be (a fiance for Mike's younger sister) to the Sy clan.  With one exception, every single one of our birthdays falls in the fourth quarter for the year.  Including my in-laws, we have birthdays on: Sept. 26, Sept. 30, Oct. 23, Oct. 24, Nov. 26, Nov. 30, Dec. 10, Dec. 17...and Jan. 18.  Samaritan's Purse's actual collection week is in mid-November, falling smack dab in the middle of our birthday season.  Ding ding ding!!!  This would be the PERFECT birthday event for our family!  

 

My husband and I would succeed in 1) Getting those we love involved with a work we love 2) Collectively setting an example for succeeding generations in our daughter's very first year  3) Helping our family practice good stewardship of our material blessings (imagine the excess of nine rounds of birthday gifts and then immediately nine more rounds of Christmas gifts!).  Our entire family bought into the idea with enthusiasm.  I'm so happy to be able to share these pictures (originally taken for the family photo album) from our new Sy-Family-Operation-Christmas-Child-In-Lieu-of-Birthday-Gifts Extravaganza (SFOCCILOBG for short...hmm...I'll have to think about that one...)

 

We decided to "adopt" 9 children- 4 boys and 5 girls- to represent each member of our family.  We selected the 10-14 yr old age group, reasoning that it might be an under-served population, being harder to shop for...and what a ripe age to hear the Gospel!  We committed $25 per person.  Here are some of our finds ready to be packed: forks/spoons, note pads, crafts, toothpaste & brushes, sample size lotions, stickers, toys and on and on.  We also solicited dentists and dermatologists for product samples....these boxes were gonna rock! 

 

The hardest part about the whole operation is wrapping the boxes.  You don't have to wrap boxes or even provide your own boxes, but we wanted to find nice BIG man-shoe boxes that would fit all of our goodies and give them a festive look...so the children might feel special.  My sister-in-law and mother-in-law (pictured) were very adept at wrapping! 

Here's Mike's brother giving his wife a massage and moral support for the wrapping effort.  What love!

 

Here are Mike and I at the effort.

 

The superior box-wrapping award definitely went to Mike's younger sister, who finished wrapping three boxes in under 20 minutes!

Then we stuffed our boxes FULL!

 

Here I am trying to help my 10-month-old reconcile with the idea of putting an incredibly interesting object into a box.  Hopefully, she gets happier about doing this as the years go on :)

 

Vera much preferred the director's role with Grandma!

Here's Mike checking the boxes for equanimity.

 

 Finally, we scooted around the dining room table signing all the cards.  Well, the last thing was a prayer time for the kiddos, but everyone had their eyes closed, so no picture :)

 

And this was our fun-filled birthday party which went well into the night!  Now we just have to wait until collection week.  HAHA!  We're excited that this year, you can actually track your boxes by donating the shipping fee online rather than via check: https://www.samaritanspurse.org/index.php/OCC/EZ_Give_Donations/

Make some warm fuzzy love of your own!  Start a family tradition that involves others!  It's the best.

 

 

Vera's Little Quirks

Vera has certain behaviors that I find both entertaining and profound.  Most babies probably do these, but kindly let me live in blissful ignorance if that's the case :)

She's learned to cough in order to get attention.  At first, we thought she might be developing allergies to the pets.  We took her to the doctor, and they couldn't find inflammation anywhere.  On top of that, no runny nose.  Adult hypothesis: she's faking it.  She likes to do her little hacking dry cough routine whenever she's not the sole focus of attention...like when I'm trying to talk to my friends or when the family is on a topic other than herself.  Our self-centeredness starts young, doesn't it?!

She's also given to fits of anger...long long screaming bouts when she doesn't get what she wants or if what she wants is taken away.   We, like most parents, are shocked that we are having to say no as much as we have at ten months.  We have even pulled out the old time out once or twice - turning our attention from her for a minute in an effort to show her that this behavior results in nothing.  Which makes me think...adults who are still prone to fits of anger really haven't accomplished much in life, have they?  And that it's so interesting that the Bible says that consequence of sin is separation from God, our heavenly Father.  That book is as real as reality gets. 


On the other hand, Vera has become incredibly adept at relying on adult hands.  Literally.  She absolutely refuses to hold her own bottle even though she can grasp many things like her bottle.  She prefers to be fed by her parents.  She will hold her own sippy cup but absolutely not the bottle.  For a long while, she would stuff everything except for food into her mouth with her fingers, preferring that we feed her.  Thankfully, that phase has passed, and she is sitting next to me happily eating her trayful of cheese and crackers.  Then, there's the clapping.  She likes clapping her hands, but LOVES grabbing whatever adult hands are available and clapping them together.  Why settle for the small potatoes when the big ones are right there?  Finally, there's the mid-night waking.  Yes, we all know that by ten months, she should be sleeping through the night.  However, a couple of months ago, she started waking up to "eat."  Does her doctor think she's hungry?  Noooooo.  She is doing what they call "checking."  She so absolutely needs her Momma that when she arouses a little, she needs to reassure herself that Momma is still there.  Not a happy deal for Momma, but I do hope that one day her spiritual behavior will mirror her little quirks now.  I hope she learns to rely on "bigger hands" and have trust in them to meet all her needs.  I hope that she becomes securely attached to her Heavenly Father, so that He can lead her in the way everlasting. 

Bargain Monday

Get a load of the deals I got by playing the drugstore game at CVS today!  I play it because I get a lot of stuff for free and also because of my aforementioned love of drugstores :)

$6.99 Glade Reed Diffuser.  Had $3 off coupon from 10/4 SmartSource.  Also received $6.99 in Extra Bonus Bucks (they can be used on any other purchase and expire one month from date of issuance).

This candy deal came just in time for our church's Hallelujah party on Halloween!  12.5 oz bags of fun size Nestle and Hershey's brand candies were on sale for $5/2.  There was a B3G1 free coupon in yesterday's SmartSource.  Then Nestle had some $1 off coupons and CVS was giving extra bonus bucks for $20 in candy spending (using the original price).  Well, V and I went down to our local CVS and gathered everything, and then at the cash register, I realize that I forgot my wallet at home!  We rush home to grab the wallet, and I peek at Moneysavingmom.com again and lo and behold, Nestle just issued $2 coupons!  We print out four of those.  Which means...out of pocket, I spent $14.10 (incl. tax) on eight bags of candy and the reed diffuser.  I received $12 in Extra Bonus Bucks...making my total balance only $2.10!  Not bad!

I always found coupons a little annoying (too much trouble for the saving) until a good friend explained how to set it up and where to look for deals.  Now, I find that spending an hour a week figuring out the week's deals and purchases, which includes looking through the Sunday paper and cutting coupons, saves our family an average of about $50 per week.  Not bad for an hour's worth of thinking and reading.  Plus, it's rewarding being good stewards of our resources, and I find it fun and entertaining.   I follow two blogs: www.moneysavingmom.com and freebies4mom.blogspot.com; I read the Sunday ads; I file away coupon booklets by date received and clip only the coupons I know I will use that week.  I like the deals that are posted on the blogs, but I've also been able to put together my own deals which is both practical and intellectually stimulating.  If you have the resources, give it a try!  You might like it.

Some Depression and Anxiety Helps

It appears as if there's quite a bit of interest in my personal health history, so I guess I'll post more about that.  In particular, I'd like to jot down some things that have been most helpful to me when I am forced to walk the darkened valleys:

• Activity Planning: When you're not interested in anything anymore, try to find one thing in the next day/part of the day/hour that you're looking forward to.  Sometimes, you do just have to take it hour by hour.  It doesn't feel OK, but it is OK.  It could be anything, like the touch of your husband's hand when he gets home from work.  Or just a future meal (are you going to Chick-fil-a later?).  Something that involves the senses often works well.  With severe clinical depression when you can't muster any interest at all, you just need to drag yourself out of the house by 11AM every day.  Just say to yourself, "I am going to go to X place.  I will just go and observe what happens."  If you just go and sit there and observe, instead of pre-judging how you will feel about being there, you will probably find that your mood improves appreciably by being out.

• Being with other people:  Just watching people go about their days...talk about how they perceive things...take you with them to the places they're going...helps.  Just watching other people's faces and they're expressions and the sound of their voices can help calm the tempest within.  It must have something to do with God's creation, the Holy Spirit in people.  If you can muster the energy or desire to talk, just open your mouth and say something...anything!  I found it very helpful to just chat about the most mundane things that I didn't really have to think about, like where did they get their curtains, I like watermelon, that dog is cute etc...even if it sounds childish, it can make you feel better.  By people, I mean people who aren't going through major issues of their own.  If you're feeling even further burdened by the people you are with, please find other people.  Sometimes the most helpful people are ones who don't have such a heavy stake in your well-being.  I could not stand spending the day with my mom, but I could pass it fairly well with my sister-in-laws.  Talk therapy works so well in large part simply because you are talking, and the act itself is therapeutic.  Sometimes, it isn't even for the purpose of resolving some monumental issue in your life.  The best therapy for the depressed is from supportive family and friends. 
  

• Nature: Birds.  Just a few reflections on trees and birds, as promised in an earlier post.  Birds: When you wake up in the morning and the gloom threatens to crush you, listen for a moment and see if you hear the birds singing outside.  If you can, open the curtains and just listen to them.  They represent God's faithfulness in your life every single morning.  I think of hymns.  "Morning has broken, like the first morning. Blackbird has spoken like the first bird"..."This is my Father's world, and to my listening ear, all nature sings and 'round me rings, the music of the spheres"..."His eye is on the sparrow, and He watches me."  And a Bible verse or two:  Are not two sparrows sold for a penny?  Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will your Father." (Matthew 10:29).  "Look at the birds of the air, they do not sow or reap or store away in barns [read: fret], and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you not much more valuable than they?" (Matthew 6:26).  Even without getting philosophical, the pure timbre of their songs will help a little.

• Nature: Trees.  One of my refuges since moving to our current home has been the tiny nature preserve close by.  Even when I can't get there, I find myself focusing on the selection of trees in the shopping center's landscape islands, between the parking spaces...or the flower bed outside a friend's apartment complex under the monument sign.  They provide respite in what can seem like a hard, concrete jungle.  A few experiences with trees to keep in mind:  I like to watch sunlight filter through leaves.  It's so glorious.  I also like to view the midnight blue sky (that brilliant but dark blue that happens just after sunset) through the silhouette of darkened branches.  I like the hopeful hue of new leaves, those innocent and vibrant light greens.  I adore the trees whose leaves turn with the seasons, whose hues are by turns muted and fiery.  I like to listen to leaves: the gentle shush of new growth and the stimulating clamor of leaves ready to fall.  I often admire leaves for their fortitude and faith.  They stay in the same place all their lives, whatever may befall them.  They don't complain or tear themselves away from the tree.  They simply abide.  They are created, they live out their lives bringing shade and comfort and joy to others, and they gracefully take their flight when it is time to go.  That brings me to shade!  Oh glorious shade!  "The Lord watches over you --the Lord is your shade at your right hand" (Psalm 121:5).  Sometimes our minds need physical experiences of what our spirit are thirsting for.  That is why I recommend going outside.  

• Nature: Breezes.  In the parched spiritual environment of a depressed mind, it's hard to find anything that will penetrate the darkness.  Evening breezes was one of those powerful things for me.  Even in my numbed state, my soul could recognize a caress from God.  In fact, I never thought of breezes in that way until I became depressed.  I never noticed them very much at all.  But now every breeze is a hug, every hair it moves a mighty cleansing.  Sometimes we don't look carefully for life's gifts until we have to look.  There is a purpose in our suffering.  "Rushing wind, blow through this temple,/Blowing out the dust within; Come and breathe you breath upon me:/I am born again." (Keith Green).   

• TEA!  Herbal, White, Green Teas calmed [and calm] me on an emotional level.  Maybe it's the flavanoids.  Maybe it's the L-theanine.  Maybe the warm tea forces you to calm your breathing.  Don't know.  Just LOVE TEA and carry a big cup every time I'm going into an anxiety provoking situation.
  

• Now, your depressed or anxious mind may ridicule you for thinking these things.  That cynical voice will threaten to invade.  But just say to it, 'I choose to go on my walk every day.  I choose to head toward the light and eventually, the darkness will fall behind me.'  If you can't muster that, then just let them be together at the same time.  It's okay; even the smallest amount of light can penetrate the darkest darkness.  

• The issue of sleep.  Sometimes when it's really bad, you need to nip it in the bud.  If you're getting very anxious about your inability to sleep, get help.  I had trouble getting this information, so I want to share it up front.  Many sufferers of depression/anxiety do not do well on prescription sleep aids like Ambien, Lunesta etc.  It will either not work at all or work for a few days and quit.  Myself and many others, in the worst of times (and I am referring to really bad times when you sometimes doubt if you can get through the night), do well with Trazadone.  Others are prescribed a low and regular dose of Klonopin.  Those are probably your two best bets in the bad times.  If the severity of the insomnia lessens, and you feel relatively confident that you will get to sleep someday, then I have had good success with a OTC antihistimine like Benadryl.  Recently, I've been able to sleep with homeopathic remedies.  My favorite is counting.  I lie down.  Thoughts start to roll around in my head which create varying moods.  I feel a little overstimulated.  I just start counting to myself slowly and let the thoughts fade into nothingness.  If thoughts get louders, I choose to focus on the numbers.  Before I know it, I'm  asleep.  If I have to start thinking about what number I'm on or if it's a high number, I just start back at one...anything simple and repetitive.  Other things that my docs have said are great sleep aids:  milk (I forgot the ingredient that relaxes you but it promotes sleepiness) and magnesium (it's a natural muscle relaxant).  Hope that helps!

• Concentration.  Depression and/or anxiety can be paralyzing and overwhelming.  When I can't focus on what I'm doing or don't want to focus on the thoughts in my head, I read a novel.  Something not too weighty and not too dense for you.  Take yourself to another place.  I read so many books during my pregnancy: the Time Traveler's Wife...that Marley book...a few Jane Austen novels...lots of girly books call Peaches and the sequel to Peaches and on and on :)  If that's all you can do that day, at least you read a good book!  For some reason, trying to "relax" in front of the TV did not work at all for me.  I think it has to do with brain waves or something, but I have read other accounts of people who have said that sitcoms and humor on TV saved their lives...so that's something to consider.  If it takes a little longer to get something done, try to tell yourself, 'It's ok.  I'm just sick right now...like someone with a broken arm or the flu.'  If you're overwhelmed, stop what you're doing and focus on something neutral for a minute or just do it slower.  It's okay.  

• The serious stuff.  If you have had suicidal or homicidal thoughts, you need to be under medical care.  Please please find a psychiatrist or ask someone you know to find you a psychiatrist.  Or just go to your regular doctor, and they will figure it out for you.  The doctor can get you in touch with a therapist or determine that is needed.  If you have a suicidal or homicidal plan, then you need to get to your nearest emergency room.  If you are feeling desperate and not sure what to do, please call a hotline like 1 (800) SUICIDE.  I will tell a "secret" here (as if I haven't shared enough!).  One night in the middle of my yet unexplained depression and insomnia (before the hospital stay), I got desperate, and I called that hotline.  It was actually a positive experience.  The number automatically routes you to a local help center where a licensed therapist is on call.  The lady I spoke with was very gentle, a very good listener and even though she didn't have a lot of new suggestions, it was just good to have someone who understood in that moment (in depression, you have a lot of guilt about dumping "everything" on your loved ones).  Anyway, I share this, so you won't feel like it might be some awful, scary experience.  If you need it at any point, it's there.  

• More serious stuff:  Sometimes the darkness can seem really dark, and there is no visible light at the end of the tunnel.  Here's my reasoning for you, if you are considering doing something "bad."  This is a temporary state.  I, and many others, can tell you that we got to the end of the tunnel.  It is a disorder, and the tunnel is finite.  A common thought to that statement is, "well, I might be weaker than you...not good enough..."  The answer to that is that we have also had that thought and still made it through.  There is nothing special about your overall constitution that makes you "unsavable"...there is nothing new under the sun :)  Remember that part of the illness is to create the darkness and then try to perpetuate.  So it will say something like, 'look at the negative way you are dealing with your life' when it (the illness) is the thing that cast the negative light on everything in the first place.  You need to get angry with it and say, 'You are not lying to me anymore.  I will identify the lies and walk away from them.'  Finally, my favorite quote from Robert Frost is, "The quickest way around something is through it."  This is true with life.  If you cut it short, how do you know what misery awaits you on the other side (and that will not be finite).  If you commit a crime out of frustration, why deepen your depression and dramatically "lengthen" your perception of life by rotting in prison or living in constant fear?  

• Other things that help: Cutting fresh veggies, especially bell pepper for me.  I think it's part aromatherapy, part texture/touch therapy and part distraction.  I love the crisp sound of the peppers.  It makes things seem so clean and organized and uncomplicated. 

• A thankful list also helps.  Every morning upon waking up or every evening before bed, write down 10 things you're thankful for.  You can write more than 10 things, but there have to be at least 10.  If you get stuck at six or seven, it really pushed you that extra little step to realize all that you have to be grateful for in your life.

• One more thing: Stay open to God.  He stands near you even if you have lost the capacity for a while to know that He is there.  Open yourself up and pour out your needs to Him.  Cry, beg, yell, scream.  He hears and loves you.  Many, including myself, have witnessed that golden cord of salvation extended to them in their mental prisons.  I'm not just talking about salvation from physical death.  God is a God of actual deliverance in this life.  He will save you out of spiritual, emotional death in this life.  You may not believe it until you've crossed that "Red Sea", but He will do it.      

Some Childhood Memories

A few months ago, during a trip to the post office, I decided to start a stamp collection for Vera.  I had one when I was a child,, started for me by my mom.  On a more recent trip to the post office, I found the USPS's 2008 stamp yearbook with a spread for each of the new stamps issued that year (stamps included).  V was born in 2008, so I bought it for her in hopes that one day we'll cuddle up together and pour over.  This recent trip brought back a flood of childhood memories for me.  

We immigrated to the US with I was six.  We brought $300 with us.  Before my parents learned enough English to pursue the vocations for which they had trained, they worked odd minimum-wage jobs at a grocery store, a tailor, a painting outfit, fast food joint, just to name a few.  In the beginning, they had two jobs each with no car.  There were many bus rides, and my dad often walked home in several feet of freshly fallen Chicago snow after getting off work at 11pm.  I qualified for free school lunches.    The curious thing is that I have never felt poor or poverty-stricken a single day in my life.  I attribute this blessed state to my mother, drugstores and stamps.  

My mother has this amazing self-possession that accompanies her in any and every situation.  It's a confidence/beauty/poise that  remains no matter how hard and long she's worked and regardless of what pressures she faces.  She says that she has always believed herself to be 'special' and felt no reason to fear.  For one, she comes from an ancient line of Chinese nobility.  Secondly, even before she became a Christian, she says she talked to God on a regular basis and always felt blessed.  In my eyes, my mother will always be a sort of noblewoman...queenly.  It's a good thing that she taught me all about her perspective in life, because I wasn't blessed with the same innate confidence.  But, thanks to mother dearest, I  know what to do to keep afloat.  

My early memories of being with my mother mostly involve shopping, but not of the Mall of America variety.  We would take the public bus home together after I spent the day at her place of work (couldn't afford child care).  With her bus transfer in hand, we would exit the terminal after the first leg of our trip, and cross the street to the Woolworth's.  There, Mom would browse the discount store's selection beauty items and accessories...and maybe pick up a spool of yarn for herself.  She always let me pick out a little gift for myself.  At the time, I favored the little 10 cent fuzzy animal figurines which I used in make believe.  When the time came to return to the bus station for our second leg home, we had our treasures in hand: some yarn for mom, a tiny fuzzy bunny for me.  We talked about what we would do with our great finds and about what we had seen at the store.  We talked about what we dreamed of buying one day, of what that life would look like.  Depending on the bus station, sometimes Woolworth's was Walgreens, sometimes a mom&pop pharmacy.  The adventures were always the same. 


I guess you could call this retail therapy, but for me, it was a much more profound experience.  I would perhaps name it "value-add therapy."  My mom taught me to take a ten cent piece of plastic and turn it into a treasure with my imagination.  She taught me to dig through all the junk in this life and find the special things that would make me happy and hopeful.  She understood that we do not live on money alone, a concept so many of us have failed to grasp.  We are sustained by our dreams, our shared experiences and by being content and working with what we have.  She neither scrimped every penny, nor did she wantonly spend.  She spent wisely, where value could be added, and taught me to do the same.  

I feel that one of her biggest "value add" accomplishments was my stamp collection.  She taught me how to soak, remove and dry cancelled stamps.  We collected stamps off of letters from China.  We picked up a new and interesting stamp every time we went to the post office.  It transformed our mundane lifestyles and errands into fun little adventures.  'Who is that scientist for whom they just issued a stamp?'  she would ask.  And off I would go to find the answer. What about the landscape painting on this stamp?  And I would become engrossed in the life of the painter.  What about this coin on this stamp?  Where is it from?  Wow...the ancient Maya!  Susan B. Anthony, Renoir, Chopin, the Space Program, the United Nations etc.  I learned entire subjects and had whole worlds open before me through these inexpensive stamps.  That is why I am starting a stamp collection for Vera.  I can't wait to pour over our books together and ask and answer our own questions.  What an investment!  A few cents to kindle the curiousity and passions of entire generations.  My mother is a wise woman. 

Chief Home Economist's Midweek Report

It's a new week in my relatively new position as Chief Home Economist/Head of Child Development here at Sy Corp.  One of these days, I plan to design myself a fancy business card as a creative project.  Of course, it won't say Chief Home Economist - probably something like "The Sy Family" with a cartoon head representing each of us.  Don't want potential new mom BFFs to think I'm *crazy* :)

Monday was loaded with home economics.  I've been trying to figure out how to streamline production, particularly with regard to the chores I detest.  These would include laundry, vacuuming and dishes.  I have a plan to tackle laundry, which I read about in a magazine.  Put the laundry in the washer before bed.  Set start time for a 6 hour delay.  Wake up and shift the wash into the dryer.  Fold at my leisure throughout the day.  It'll be like I not doing laundry even though I am doing it!  I also read that experts generally agree: it's OK to leave the laundry in the wash overnight even if your system doesn't have the delay start function.  Vacuuming.  I've determined that a Roomba would be a good long term investment.  With this purchase, I can reduce visits from our "heavy-duty items" cleaning lady to once a month instead of once every other week.  Dishes.  I've made my peace with the fact that this is a short-term affliction.  As Tyler Perry's Madea character writes in Don't Make a Black Woman Take Off Her Earrings, "If you got children; you got servants."  Oh VeeeeEEEEERA!  Momma has a step stool with your name on it!  Maybe I'll write a book called Home Economics for Dummies :) 

Tuesday's theme was broken items.  Broken Items nos. 1&2: Sy women sick.  V and I went down to Gma and Gpa's today because I did not want her to get reinfected by the cold/diarrhea germs that she'd just gotten over and has since passed to me.  Broken Item no.3: Car.  It just underwent a "full circle" inspection last week, and the check engine light came on today.  Dealership won't take it same day,  so scheduled to bring it in tomorrow.  Broken Items nos. 4&5: Cameras.  Bought a camera when V was born ("Camera #1").  Said Camera #1 spontaneously registered a "lens error" and has refused to take photos.  Had been lusting after a new camera anyway.  Bought said Camera #2 from a website.  Camera #2 arrived with a foreign electrical plug on the charger and a camera lens that did not pick up any light.  Warranty still valid on Camera #1; off it went to Canon Service Center today.  Return authorization on Camera #2, and off it went to a place called homegoodz.com on Coney Island(?!).  Based on the quality of the customer service, not so sure if I'll ever see a new Camera #2 returned to me.  $600 total and zero cameras to record my precious one's goofy moments.  Lesson learned: If you're going to have a broken camera on your hands, it's far more comforting to have quality customer care/concierge service (I like that term!) on the other end of the line even if they initial cost is a little higher. I am partial to Costco's concierge service. Homegoodz.com: tsk tsk tsk.  Broken Item 6: My glasses.  They've been broken for...oh...about 6 months.  I've been squinting at the books I read in bed after my nightime toilette, wearing my contacts way too long everyday.   Why?  Because I am terrible at taking care of myself (I am a very very average woman).  Finally found a place that will solder the broken hinge back together instead of making me shovel out about $400.  It might not be pretty all soldered together, but at least I'll be able to see my books without smelling them at the same time.  Broken Item no. 7: The family dog.  We typically let Corky out to do his business in the yard before bedtime.  Tonight, we thought he was back in with us and shut the sliders, but we were wrong.  We hear him barking ferociously at 2am in the morning and run outside to find him under attack from two large coyotes.  Corky is a 13 lb corgi mix (i.e. smaller than a regular corgi).  Mike chased the coyotes away, and Corky slinks inside.  No gaping wounds and he sleeps through the night.  

Wednesday's theme: Redemption.  Corky wasn't fine upon waking today, unable to receive a pet nor tolerate his leash without yelping painfully.  He's rushed to the vet and mildly sedated.  It turns out those coyotes had gotten him on the right ear and just below the chin.  He's still at the hospital for observation, but he should be sent home soon with some pain meds.  I will be redeeming him with what will probably be a large sum of money.  However, it's worth it.  He was very blessed last night that the Lord endowed him with the bark and courage of a lion in his little frame.  Corky the Brave; Corky the Faithful.  So glad you're with us, boy!  Another blessing was that my car's check engine last went off on its own.  Good thing, because I couldn't have made the appt. today nor could I have paid for it!  Glasses will be ready for pick-up this afternoon, and V and I are almost back to 100% with all the rest that we're getting at home.  Sad we had to cancel plans with friends today but hope to redeem those soon as well.  It just goes to show that the only hope and joy that comes out of brokenness is repair and redemption by the owner.  It's like that with the human soul as well, no?  

Quickies

You wish I would write about what happens in the...boudoir!  On second thought, maybe you really really REALLY don't wish that :)

This post is about "quickies" in reference to updates and little notes:


Friday: Sunday School craft prep at church with a few sweet ladies.

Home to be surprised by hubby whose lecture was cancelled.

Brea Mall to get some make-up and gifts.  Brea Mall is probably my favorite mall of all time.  I love the assemblage of stores for their quality and affordability, the floorplan for its strong use of anchor stores and compactness, the consumer population - i.e. normal people without thousand-dollar strollers.  In fact, I think that I could really live in North Orange County for the rest of my life - never thought I'd say that when I first moved out here to Cali!  South Orange County though...not my cup of tea...but Mike loves that ocean!

After mall, went to visit a dear sister who is experiencing a very tough situation right now.  Cried for her a few times that day already.  Would do anything in my power to rectify things but feel kind of helpless.  Ugh.  Pray pray pray.

In the evening, V interacted to her great-grandparents (my dad's parents) for the first time over Skype.  It was special, and they looked as if the joy she brought them could fuel them an entire month!  Very thankful for technologies like Skype that enable families to connect like this.  When my family first immigrated to the States in 1987, my parents weren't even sure if they would ever get to go back to China or see their own parents again.  Look where we are now.  Good kind of progress :)

Saturday: Gave a voice lesson in the AM.

Spent way too much at Costco (but purchase included a long-awaited external hard drive so that I can finally back up those precious family photos).  

We spent the afternoon and evening at the wedding of a close college friend of ours.  It was so fun and inspiring to see many of our mutual friends again gathered from all over the country and leading all sorts of lives.  Some have "spawned" as well, so maybe we were witnessing another generation of Yalies who will enjoy the same camaraderie that we feel (not that V has to attend Yale...even though she has her own Yale t-shirt already...but we didn't buy it for her!  we don't want to be those Asian parents...OK, the truth is, Mike and I would love for her to have the experience that we had but realize that she may be gifted in many other ways and would never pressure her into going there...we might just "share" about what a great time we had and take her to visit the campus every year...OK, totally kidding...as you can see, I haven't settled this in my mind yet :)  Anyway, there was a photo booth at the reception and it was a hoot seeing how many people could fit in there...grown-ups acting like kids = priceless.  And the Crystal Cathedral banquet hall is a really nice space!  

Sunday: Church - Finally not my week to teach Sunday School, so got to sleep in a little!  Good thing because V had been having some diarrhea the past day or so and was running a very low grade temperature (we're not sure what the cause was but have been monitoring her closely).  She was still a little fussy during service, so I actually spent most of it walking around the church with her and chatting with friends.  Will have to listen to the sermon off of the weekly newsletter's online video link :P


To our local shopping center for bagel lunches and round #2 of Halloween costume shopping for Vera.  We don't really celebrate Halloween but do want the costume photo ops.  I had purchased a purple and gold "Leaf Fairy" costume for her a couple of weeks ago.  Mike's comment was that, since she's so cute and chubby right now, we should dress her up in something fuzzy/furry instead of something that she can wear when she's older.  I saw his point, so today, we went looking and schlepped to seasonal-Halloween-store-where-Mervyn's-used-to-be, Toys R Us and Target.  Conclusion?  "Leaf Fairy" costume was the cutest.  I appreciated that Papa was so invested in what his little girl would wear though.  I might actually try and purchase a fuzzy/furry costume online, because I think it'll be pretty chilly by the end of the month, and I do see hubby's point.

Home to read the Sunday paper together - another of our family traditions.  Happy for Gustavo Dudamel, who debuted as conductor of the LA Phil to rave reviews on Saturday night.  He is a very talented (and young!) musician, and I hope he has a long and storied relationship with the LA Phil.  Also read and article about how Angel Sanchez designed Dudamel's wife's dress for the premiere (commonality: all three are Venezuelan luminaries).  Just a few short years ago, I would have so wanted to be in her place.  I was pleasantly surprised upon finishing the article about the draping session and the hue selection of the dress that I actually prefer the scale and depth of my current lifestyle far more.


Read review for, and as a result, want two books by David Allen Sibley: Sibley Guide to Birds and Sibley Guide to Trees (the trees book just came out).  Both birds and trees have ministered to me during times of duress in ways that I could never fully describe.  They are practically angels ("messengers") of His grace to me.  I'll have to write about birds and trees in a separate posting.

Parade was interesting today:  New survey about the nation's spirituality.  We're much less religious in the traditional sense, more "spiritual" but mean many more things by "spiritual" than we used to.  Very fascinating stats...sad to me...but interesting.  Check it out: http://www.parade.com/news/2009/10/04-how-spiritual-are-we.html.  The take-away for me was that there is a HUGE population within the church itself that is very far from any kind of faith at all. 

Also, did you know that the American Medical Association may soon make a recommendation for doctors to ditch their white coats?  White coats carry germs from patient to patient and were banned by the English two years ago.  That would be a significant transition for doctors and patients alike.  My husband, like the author, finds his white coat extremely useful for stashing his tools of the trade and indicated that if discouraged from wearing his white coat, he would need to start wearing a tool-belt around his waist.  You think he'd instill more confidence in his patients if he looked like a lumberjack? :) 


Some chores.  
Dinner with brother and sister-in-law at a quaint Italian cafe/gelato joint in downtown Orange called Cafe Lucca.  I like the ambiance there, and I always like hanging out with them.  Glad my brother-in-law picked the wife he did; I really love her too :)

I'll end with this quote by Millard Sheets on art:  "Ask yourself, why do I want to paint?  What are my goals, my vision?  Never in history have so many had so much to say about almost everything.  Confusion is often the result.  Values suffer.  Artists have a special responsibility to society.  Never has their particular view and contribution been more needed.  In our over-specialized western world, technologists, business people, and politicians all need to be educated about how to make life and the environment more beautiful and meaningful."  Night! (I lied; it wasn't a quickie after all).

Books on My Nightstand

Easy to Love; Difficult to Discipline; The 7 Basic Skills of Turning Conflict into Cooperation - Becky Bailey, PhD.  This book was recommended by several parenting mags, so I got it off of Amazon (oh how I love Amazon and it's Super Saver Shipping!).  I like the author's premise: in order to effectively discipline our children, we need to have effectively disciplined ourselves.  Here are the seven basic skills, which the book delineates in-depth: 

1.  The Power of Perception: No one can make you angry without your permission. 

2. The Power of Attention: What you focus on, you get more of.

3. The Power of Free Will: The only person you can make change is yourself.

4. The Power of Unity: Focus on connecting instead of trying to be special.

5. The Power of Love: See the best in one another.

6. The Power of Acceptance: This moment is as it is.

7. The Power of Intention: Conflict is an opportunity to teach.  

Emma - Jane Austen.  Too bad she died so young and left only six novels.  I've read all but Mansfield Park (need to finish Emma) and Love & Romance (although it was finished by others).  It's hard to believe that these novels were the equivalent of Confessions of an Shopaholic in their day...it's also hard to believe that real people spoke with such nuance.  Sigh...that halcyon Edwardian age...gone forever...omg!

More Than Serving Tea; Asian American Women on Expectations, Relationships, Leadership and Faith - Toyama and Gee, editors.  The insights and personal experiences of five Christian educated Asian American women...who are good writers!

Sign with Your Baby - Joseph Garcia, PhD.  It came in a package with a DVD and Reference Guide about how to teach your baby American Sign Language...to decrease frustration...as a second language...to increase bonding.  We started signing to V very early on.  It was fun way to engage in active play and encourage bonding...and best of all, it was mutually stimulating.  What sold me was how effective signing was after V received her 9-mo. vaccines.  She started getting hysterical about the needles and could not quiet herself.  After the three quick shots, I flashed her the "all done" sign, and the look of relief that washed over her face was priceless.  She smiled immediately and remained calm for the rest of the visit.  She can now initiate the sign for milk with she wants it.  It seems like she has a preference for vocalizing her needs...so we'll just keep signing and talking at the same time...and see what happens!  From the DVD, it also looked like incorporating ASL signs into story time enhances enjoyment for both parent and child as well...I just haven't figured out how to hold V, read and sign at the same time yet.  

Please Understand Me II; Temperament, Character, Intelligence -- David Keirsey.  The textbook on the classic Keirsey Temperament Sorter based on the Meyer-Briggs personality test.  Those who know me know that I am always referring to this book.  I had it out because there was a pretty good M-B personality quiz on Facebook a while ago, and I was reading up on some friends' temperaments.  That's what I'm all about: ENFJ (the Idealist-Teacher).

The Power of a Praying Wife - Stormie Omartian.  I like how specific she is with her prayers (there are 30 areas of her husband's life that she prays over), and it encourages me to be as caring and comprehensive when I'm praying for my family.  I'm not even close (I think I have prayer ADHD)...  I don't always love all of her theology (maybe it's not her theology and just her writing)...but she sure has faith!!!

The Power of a Praying Parent - Stormie Omartian.  See above.

Then, there's my stack of periodicals.  These are my equivalents to USWeekly:

Westways from the AutoClub <-- one of my FAVORITE periodicals!

RealSimple

Redbook

Parenting

Parents

American Baby

Baby Talk

(I somehow got free subscriptions to all of the parents mags, but if I had to pay, I like Parents best for its content)
Harper's Bazaar (how did I get this magazine AGAIN?! I could actually wear maybe one outfit a month in there...and who spends that much for clothes?! what in the world?!)

Yale alumni mag...sometimes.  

LA Times (we get most of our news online...but there's some great journalism in the weekend editions!)
Sometimes I'm feeling hip, so I peruse the Dwell or the Architectural Record at the bookstore.  Or sometimes intellectual, so I pick up the American Scholar. 

Hubby's set of periodicals: Car&Driver, Road&Track, Time, Yale mag, articles from Parade that his wife clipped for him (haha), a small collection of graphic novels, LA Times.  I like when we read to each other - like when we went through a phase of reading parts of the Lord of the Rings to each other, or when we read interesting articles to each other, or when we make up bedtime stories for one another.  It's like having a lifelong sleepover :)

Goals

Goals.  It's what's for life.  
Since the "Great Depression of 2008,"  I've become more convinced than ever that goals are an essential component to a well-lived life.  It's important and highly satisfying to wake up each morning and know why you're about to do the things you're about to do.  So here are my goals, short-, mid- & long-term.  Keep me to them!


Short-term:

• Lose 10 lbs. of post-baby weight.  I plan to do this with combination of: more walking (one of my favorite pasttimes), a hula-hoop (most of the 10 lbs is around the tummy), and Wii Active (bec/ I spent $50 on it and don't want to waste the money...plus, it's a good program!).
• Get moved into the new house.  This will require: agreeing with the contractor & structural engineer on $$, putting on my developer hat and sweet-talking my way through an over-the-counter approval at the City of Anaheim Build Dept., completing construction on the loft addition and inspections, calling carpet people and scheduling the second floor carpet replacement (note to self: need to decide on a color first), calling the floor people and getting them to come out on the first floor, getting the moving company quote and MOVE!  Oh wait...there's packing up this place and renting it out too...  Hmmm...think we'll make it buy the end of the year???  
• Tangent: Since we have more than one property now (well, actually, the condo is ours and the house is Vera's, given to her by her maternal great-grandmother)...Mike and I have decided to take the ultra-pretentious move of naming them.  This condo, because of its hilltop location and views,  strikes us as a "pavilion" - not in the circus sense, but rather, the scenic "pavilions" that Asian gentlefolk used to build in their massive gardens to view nature and meditate.  We've considered calling it the Butterfly Pavilion, since we had Vera while here (I designed her nursery are a butterfly garden - the butterfly representing 'new life' in Christian symbolism).  Alternatively, we've considered calling it "the Seat of the Butterfly Throne."  This is more a commentary on V's personality (ah hem).  For short, we usually refer to this place as "The Treehouse."  The new house is less of a garden flat and actually features some contemporary southwestern architecture (not just random tacked-on exterior detail, but actual architecture and space-planning!...which I was very pleasantly surprised by, considering it is builder product)...so we've got to have a "Casa de...something"  but what?  Maybe we'll figure it out when we get there...
• V's first birthday bash.  What to do?  Maybe I'll look at parenting.com or parents.com for ideas and tips.  Maybe I'll paste her photo on the wall and write adjectives about her like the Supernanny makes some of the parents do.  Hopefully, I'll have a revelation (hey, it's happens...esp. with regard to this little one!).  One thing is for sure, there will be babies galore there.  

...and fade out 2009...


Mid-range Goals:

• Get an advanced degree of some kind.  I find it odd that the same people who wanted me to go for a PhD of some kind are now saying..."why do you need one of those?  have more babies!!!"  I like school; I always have.  I love learning.  I like being goal-oriented.  So I'll go back for something...teaching credential?  div school/seminary?  MFA?
  
• Maintain my business contacts.  Hey, I worked hard and made it far in six years!  Then I got sick, had a baby and probably disappeared off the face of the earth to all my wonderful colleagues.  My Crackberry is jammed full of numbers, and I'm not afraid to use them!
• Get the house set up.  My favorite part?  Half of the 2.5 car garage is going to be my studio!  Move over, Man Cave!  Mama's getting some space!  How much time I'll get in there?  That's another question.
  
• Get the Young Families Bible Study going for our church members (this is all predicated on getting moved into the house, which is predicated on the work getting done first.  hopefully, we get to start before 2009 ends).  Mike and I had this idea while sitting with V in the cry room - that all these families would be able to have regular fellowship and Bible study if their kids were invited to come along with them and play while we studied.  Leadership liked it and so we have a green light...just need to get started!
  
• Agree wholeheartedly with God in all (or as "all" as I can get) areas of my life.  It's one thing to agree with what I hear, and agree with what I tell other people.  It's another thing altogether to do the agreeing with my life and actions.
• Have another baby?  (Oh Lord, have mercy!) Or at least resolve the adopt/not adopt issue with Mike and both sides of the family (yes, we care about harmony within our extended family).  Whichever way it goes, I would love to give Vera someone to walk through life with.  I definitely do not want her to be an only child like my mom and I were...it's tough as a kid...it's tough as an adult caring for aging parents...it's just lonely and tough.
• Get to know even more dimensions of my husband.  After all, he is the one of which the Lord said to me, "Follow him, and you'll learn to love."  Not joking.  That's what happened when I was praying over whether to marry the man!  (Is that because he is a particular challenge...or because he's particularly good at loving himself...I wonder...)
  

Long-range Goals:

• Go to Heaven.  This is also no joke.  After experiencing the torment of severe depression, there is now way in HELL, I am going to Hell.  And when this life proves less the satisfying, what can we look forward to?  What did the slaves look forward to?  How have all the afflicted throughout history gotten by without committing suicide and killing each other?  They look beyond to the time with the Lord Himself will wipe away their tears.  This is why, other than the fact the He is AWESOME, I am NEVER (by His grace) forsaking my God.  He's all I've got when it comes down to it, and I'm not letting go of that rope!  (in fact, did you know that the Hebrew word translated "hope" actually means "a cord"?  The "I Want to Go to There" of this blog is there...here...there...you know what I mean.
  
• Ok...let's back it up.  I'd love to celebrate a 50th wedding anniversary with my husband.  If my calculations are correct, I get a diamond that year, right?  I'm just joking (I'm not a fan of diamonds...neither from a human rights perspective nor aesthetically).  I just want to make it and thrive with my man!  Well, guess I'd better start with my short-term goal of losing 10 lbs :)
  
• Release two (or more) God-loving well-adjusted-but-still-love-on-their-mama adults into the world. 
• Do the stuff on my bucket list (the art/writing thing, Artic, Serengeti, New Zealand etc.).

It's as simple...or as complicated...as that :)  Yeah...I think I have enough stuff to do...will let you know how it goes!