I Rocked the Day!

I don't hear about this happening very often, but IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED TO ME!!!  Everything just click, click, clicked into place today!  Get a load of this:

Wake up.  Vera's a morning person as usual.  We get ready, load the car, and arrive at Gma/Gpa's by 8:30AM.  The driver's side rear tire has been leaking air for the past two days, and I was wondering how far I would get on it.  We made it, and the Mazda dealership right by the house agreed to take it in by 9 and have it done by 10AM.  

By 10:10AM, Vera, Gma and I were cruising to get V her H1n1 vaccine, which I had been unable to find anywhere until I just happened to mention it to a friend of a friend at a toy swap (more about that later).  A random pediatric office in Ladera Ranch has them stocked and is giving them out to the community!  By 11:30AM, we were headed north for lunch at a low key but yummy noodle and small eats place with V's grandparents.  

By 1:00PM, I had already called and faxed our mortgage company, thus completing the paperwork for our loan mod.  I even had five minutes to sit in the car and contemplate how much I admire cattails.  Tangent alert.  Last night, I read an article in Redbook Mag about self-reflection, and one of the pointers was to think about the people to whom you are grateful as a clue into what you may want to become.  Well, I decided today, while sitting in the car waiting for V to wake up from her nap, that I wanted to be like a cattail.  They're beautiful in a very natural way, not painted ladies, not loud, not huge/not tiny.  They just are what they are.  If you think about it, they're kind of funny looking, all fuzzy and brownish-purple, but they communicate simplicity and grace and beauty all the same.  I like how their fuzziness kind of filters sunlight and plays with it.  I'd like to be that way God's light.  I enjoy their flexibility, how they sway and dance with the breezes.  Finally, I like how they like one another.  I've never seen a solitary cattail.  In fact, that would probably not be very attractive.  But a nice, big healthy outcropping of cattails provides solace and mirth in the middle of the day.  Take note: Luan would like to grow in cattail-ness.

After Vera woke up, we went  back into Gma/Gpa's house, and she bonded with them while I ran some errands.  Gas, bank and then off to the City of Anaheim to pull a building permit for our loft addition.  The plans were approved on Monday, and I had to sign some paperwork and pay the fee before we can start demo at the house.  I've not a huge fan of government buildings, and the wait at the Bldg. Dept. counter was more than an hour.  The sterile environment, the lack of ventilation, the tedium (forgot to bring interesting reading), the questionable customer service, made me associate it with prison.  I'm sure prison is far far worse than a well run Building Dept. in a large city; I'm just spoiled.   Anyway, the permit thing had to be done, and it got done.  I was glad to be out of there.  

Got back to Gma/Gpa's at 4:30PM, and found my lovey taking her afternoon nap.  I got to curl up next to her for a good hour's nap.  Drove home at 6PM with dinner from Gma in the backseat and a clean load of laundry (our washer is broken; a new one's on its way).  My man had just arrived home as well, and the three of us had our usual dinner with updates.  I told Mike that Vera is now signing "more" and "ball", but she does both the signs by clapping her hands...which looks exactly like...clapping her hands.  So... not sure if we made any progress on that front :) 

After dinner, Dad and Vera got some bonding time, while I went off to Target to pick up my prescription and do some shopping.  As per the general blessedness of the day, my doctor had faithfully called in my Synthroid (good thing, because I had taken the last one in the morning and tomorrow is Turkey Day), and I ended up spending $30 on $60 of necessities.  I'm especially proud of this deal I put together for Nivea products.  I had a coupon for B1G1 Nivea Q10 Lip Therapy.  I stacked that with a $1 off Nivea Target coupon.  On top of that, I had another coupon that said that if I buy three Nivea Lip Therapy products, I'd get a free 13.5oz full size Nivea Body Lotion.  The bonus is that I'd already been using Nivea Q10 Lip Therapy, and it's great product.  In the end, I got $20 worth of Nivea products for $5.50.   Be on the look out for deals like that!  If you see a lot of different coupons for a single product line, clip them all, and chances are that you're about to get a great deal!  

After Target, I was onto church at 8:15PM.  Our family is part of a care team for two missionary friends in Costa Rica, and the team is putting on a tamale sale to bolster their finances (that is my kind of sale).  Sales start on Saturday, but we will be in San Francisco, and my task was to decorate the info board.  I got the Cricut out and started making die-cuts.  Everything was up, I'm happy with how it turned out, and I was home by 10PM.  Phew!  What a day! Glad that tomorrow will be more celebrating and less about work!  Although I would not and could not do this everyday, I'm so thankful for my full and varied life, and everyone in it.  Thanks, dear Lord, for blessing me with favor, efficiency, insight and love today!  Love You.

Thankful List: Monday

It's Thanksgiving week, so I'm going to list ten things I'm thankful for every day this week (we'll see how consistent I can be):


1. The sound of Vera's hearty laugh.  Most wonderful sound ever!
2. Mike's steadfast heart. 

3. My neighborhood - reflects a dedicated group of individuals.
4. My church body - sweet fellowship that melts away all anxiety.
5. The fact that we really can make a difference in this life.  That there are lessons to be learned.  That we were designed to contribute to this world.  That there really is meaning and purpose. 
6. Tamales - especially the green kind with chicken.
7. Being able to stay home for my daughter's first year and enjoy her friendship.
8. Skype - lets me stay close to my parents; allows us to converse with our missionaries.
9. The message of the Christian Gospel.  Truth, grace and consequences.
10. Cattails - one of my favorite plants to look at :)

Lots of Free Samples Today!

Free Samples I read about today:
Hellman, Pond's, Degree Body Mist,  Caress Samples
http://www.vivemejor.com/JustForYou.aspx?NavID=22&CultureCode=en-US

Free Samples for True Lemon Water Flavoring
http://www.truelemon.com/sample.cfm 

Free Sample of Underjams  (I like to have random stuff on hand; believe it or not, comes in handy!)

http://www.underjams.com/bedwetting-children/free_sample.php?locale=US

Become a friend of Philosophy on Facebook then click on the blue button that says "Go To Application" just under the profile page.  Fill out form and get a FREE sample of Gingerbread Shower Gel. 

Products I like (teehee):
Del Taco Coupon B1G1 Big Fat Chicken Taco
http://www.deltaco.com/print_coupon.html

$2/1 Healthy Choice
http://www.healthychoice.com/?WT.mc_id=HC_120x600_SMC_Pumpkin_coupon&WT.mc_ev=click

$1/1 Puffs Coupon
http://www.puffs.com/en_US/coupon/coupon-registration.php

Random things I want to remember

1. I made brussel sprouts taste good tonight.  I had randomly memorized Chef Cat Cora's recipe from Sunday's Parade magazine, and tried it today because the b sprouts were on sale at Henry's.  It was easy - Blanch first.  Then use butter instead of olive oil to stir fry.  Add some salt.  Move away from heat and add capers and black pepper.  Quite yummy!

2.  Vera is starting to obey simple commands...when she wants to.  She started doing this on Monday, 11/16.  I asked her to bring me her toy keys from across the room, she grabbed them and crawled over to me with them in her hand.   She's also responded positively to, "Can Momma have a kissy?"  I love that proud smile she shows when she communicates effectively.  It clearly exhibits the verve that she has for life and says, "I did it!  This. is. AWESOME!".  I pray that she smiles like that, as least on the inside, for the rest of her life.  I'm excited to be communicating with her on this new level.  Soon, we'll be diving into deep discussions about Scripture and literature, and men (and how very strange they are)!  It's also a good reminder for Mike and I to watch what we say.  We knew that babies are aware of far more than they let on, so we've been careful with our tone of voice etc., but now it's clear that she understands the meaning of our language.  Time to figure out more nuanced words to use in place of certain ideas we want to express (e.g. "let's not give the 'innocent' any of this food").  

But with Vera right now, it's all about volition.  When she wants to be sweet, she's incredibly sweet, and when she wants to be fussy, watch out! And man, can that girl get fixated!  You can turn her around and try to distract her away from something that she's eying ten times in a row, but she will just turn right back around and go for it again.  I'm telling myself that this could be a good thing in the long run with some proper channeling.  

Signing has also improved lately, she's added "up" to her repertoire and signs it often, because she is always on the move.  Not a dull moment for her!
Music seems definitely in her blood.  She claps, dances and waves to the beat of the music in the house.  Today, she turned on her Mozart Cube and started conducting!  It looked just right, with both arms waving to the rhythm.  With the strength of her voice, I think my baby girl might be an opera singer...not that I'm trying to live vicariously through my daughter!  It's hard to balance life as a performer.  

3.  My man is awesome.  He got home today around 4PM, because they let him off early from the hospital (no more ambulatory patients).  He comes home, warms up to me with lots of cute little quips and hugs, listens and shares all the news of the day, changes out of his work clothes, grabs Vera and plays with her while I deal with his sister's wedding issues, calls my mom on Skype when I ask him to (because I'm busy making dinner) and fixes the webcam on my computer when it malfunctions.  He jiggered it to where it was working but only if held in a certain position, so he sat through the whole Skype conversation with my mom holding the webcam still.  He even complimented my brussel sprouts tonight, and he's never liked brussel sprouts.  10 brownie points for Mike!  He like getting brownie points, even though he doesn't particularly want to earn anything tangible.  I think it's his way of saying that he likes frequent positive reinforcement, and also, I think that he likes to imagine brownie points in terms of actual brownies.  The mere thought of baked goods makes him happy :)  I did surprise him with an actual prize for all  his earned brownie points, when I brought him leftover baked treats from two evening functions I dropped in  on earlier this week.  He gave me that big contented smile of his.  Love that man!  

Oh OK. I did promise some friends that I would have "deals" section at the end of every post.  I think the best deal I saw today was for a 2-year Redbook magazine subscription for $5 on Amazon.  All you do is go to Amazon and search for it.  I know I just wrote that I like to get subscriptions for free, but I don't think Redbook has ever been offered for free.  Anyway, I already have a subscription and it lapses in January, so this will be good.  The magazine is very informative and entertaining, and I like how it's geared toward more women with a lot going on in their lives.  It offers a little bit of everything.  So that's the deal of the day.  Night!

Motherhood Means

Here was my entry for the Motherhood Means...contest for Parenting Mag.  I wish I had been more bold about my faith.  I really meant to write in the last paragraph, "...to love God, to love others, to love ourselves..." Now that I've entered it, I'm ashamed that I was squeamish about simply stating that.  What makes my truth-claim any less usable in a magazine than any other truth-claim?  It's like I had a momentary religion inferiority complex.  Sad... Well, I thought that the rest of it went pretty well considering the fact that I had an hour to work on it and pressed "send" at 11:58pm.  Learned my lesson for next time.

Motherhood, as far as I'm concerned, embraces superhero status.  The whole thing is magical, and my brain hasn’t quite grasped the fact that I have joined these venerable legions.  An embryo took form against overwhelming odds and grew 100 million times within me.  She then entered the world in a highly calibrated mission that broached the limits of the physical universe. 

Mothers deserve free lifetime massages for the tour de force of pregnancy and childbirth alone.  We, however, are meant for a much greater odyssey, one in which our true power will be unveiled.  Our charge is nothing less than keeping the action of love alive through our decisions.  Save the mothers.  Save the world. 

Babies fail to thrive without love.  People suffer in clinical depression without enough love.  It is a component vital to human life.  To love this world, to love others, to love ourselves – we mothers are here to teach and model just this.  Washing the dishes, folding the laundry and preparing dinner has never been mere housework.  In them, we are offered the power to teach our children that love is an action and a responsibility, that it really can change the world, and that it is evidenced by honest, persistent and compassionate work.   Whether we recycle, whether we model a healthy diet, whether we check in on our sick neighbor, whether we praise our children, whether we practice consistent discipline, whether we choose to fight for our marriages, whether we deal with our depression or anxiety – All of these “ifs” are factors that mothers in large part influence.  Ours are the little decisions that can resolve the nation’s struggles with pollution, obesity, isolation, communication, crime, divorce and so on.   We are the guardians of a precious resource.  Just call us THE LOVEMAKERS!

Money Sense

Recently, I've been asked by several women in my life about the cost of having a baby and money saving strategies.  Everything I know, I've learned by listening to friends and trying out their leads, so no credit belongs here.  Isn't it great how we women have the capacity to come together and support one another?  There's real strength and power in that.  Compiled from emails I have written, here are ideas you might try. 

Concepts:  

Saving money is much more fun if you can think of it as a game that you play with yourself.  Rather than bemoaning the fact that you "have" to do this or that, think of it as a challenge to see how much you're able to save on every shopping trip.  Personally, I was bored out of my mind and even a little depressed by consumerism when I was reaping a very cush salary as a real estate developer.  Now that we've axed my income out of the equation, I'm excited by the challenge of it.  It's more fun and intellectually stimulating to go shopping now.  But, I'm a dork like that.  What can you do?

Many people don't use coupons, because they feel that the returns are not worth the effort.  They cut the coupons, look for the sales to use the coupons with, make a trip to the store...for what?  A free toothbrush?  What if they need five toothbrushes?  They can't get five toothbrushes with the dumb coupon!  It says limit 1!  Several concepts that might help here:

The most effective and lucrative use of coupons is when they're combined with another offer...a sale, a rebate program, a gift card etc.  

It's important not to let saving money take over your life.  If you're leaving your house several times a day to grab "deals" or driving 10 miles to a store you don't frequent, it's probably not worth your time alone.  I spend an hour on Sunday evening clipping coupons after my husband and I read the Sunday paper together, and am consistently able to save more than $50 per week and get lots of free stuff.  $50 for an hour of work is a pretty good deal.

Consider the concept of the STOCKPILE.  The idea is that you get a free pack of floss here, another pack at some other time, a free sippy cup there, some almost-free shampoo a few different times, and sooner rather than later, when you "need" something, you'll already have it in the house (and you'll have gotten it for next to nothing)!  You will be shocked at how fast the stockpile grows.  In the new house, we've designated two 5-shelf systems in the garage for our stockpile (and I hope to hang a sign that says "Sy Stockpile".  An big bonus for me: My husband LOVES it when I can hand him what he needs when he needs it (read: I get a lot of free razors).  It makes him see me as some kind of Magic Wife, and he's proud of his home life. 

I've heard the objection that businesses are saavy at crunching the numbers, so why would they let you save all this money?  Well, lots of reasons!  They want you to try a new product (e.g. last week, there was a free AirWick I-Motion, a new home scent gadget to be had for free from Target)...they want to create a lot of buzz around a product line or get you out to their retail stores...or they simply have to move a certain number of units to hit their projections.  And it's not like they trumpet most of these deals, so how many people do you think actually take advantage of them?  Frankly, I don't care that much about the why.  As long as I'm saving money and not having to give out my Social Security Number, why can't it be a win-win situation?

What about all the spam you get?  This is why many people I know have issues signing up for stuff.  I've mitigated this annoyance by simply creating a separate free online email account for all "vendor" correspondence.  I'm free to sign up for all the preferred customer, freebie offers, online accounts I want, without having to dig through the spam for my personal correspondence.  I haven't seen any increase in my postal mail either - it's probably much cheaper for the companies to send a million emails than a million printed ads.  Upside: I get coupons for all manner of things (I can take a friend out for free coffee at Borders at least once a month) whenever I want them.

I casually keep a running list of the lowest unit prices I can find on home necessities.  For example, I know a diaper sale is a good deal if each diaper is less than 18 cents (which is Costco's price).  Remember to use unit prices because home goods come in many different sizes and packages.

Save your change.  This is a fun tradition Mike and I have been doing for a number of years.  Before I tell you, let me reiterate that we are, indeed, very dorky.  We put all our spare change in a canister, and when it gets full, we make a special, almost ceremonial, trip to the Coinstar machine at our local grocer and cash it in for an Amazon.com gift card.  If you transfer the money onto a gift card, you don't have to pay any service charge for using Coinstar.  It's like finding $50 or $60 bucks in a coat pocket.

Take advantage of all your "revenue" streams.  When you find yourself bemoaning the fact that you have "no" spending money, think about where it may be socked away.  Have you earned the minimum to redeem the rebate off one of your credit cards?  Can you double that amount by using it at one of their retail partners?  Do you keep track of points earned from brand loyalty (like the Huggies Enjoy the Ride campaign)?  More money in your coat pocket :)  Alternatively, will you work for food? I WILL!!!  I'm willing to do all kinds of things for other people in return for food.  My reasoning: I don't have to plan it, shop for it, store it, and prep it.  I LOVE IT!  Other forms of bartering are cool too - I just love food :)


Remember that money is a means and not an end.  You can live REALLY well on name brands using VERY LITTLE money.  Through this money saving adventure, I've learned that living well, even in the most pragmatic, literal sense, takes developing a few character traits rather than getting more money:  A sense of humor, a little curiosity, some patience, a willingness to try out new things, and deciding not to engage in mindless consumption.  Be specific about how you will use your savings.  My purpose in saving is twofold: a) to stay within our ever shrinking budget b) extra giving - I'm able to by prizes for my Sunday School students, say "yes" to that cancer or disaster relief organization that solicits, donate goods when asked, all because of a little elbow grease beforehand.  Others are saving for a down payment on a house, a special trip.  Saving for saving's sake can be soul-sucking.  Plan to reward yourself for your efforts!

More specific tips:

Get the Sunday paper, and save the coupon sections.  You don't have to spend an hour clipping them every week if that's not your thing.  You can just file the coupons away by date, and when you see or read about a good deal, go into your file and clip the specific ones you want.  Exceptions would be for things that you know you will eventually need - like diapers or your brand of contact solution...which you'll always on the look out for.  Honestly, you can find most of the coupons from the paper online now, but it helps to have them all in one place in the Sunday paper...and you may want to use two of the same coupon! 

The Drugstore Game:  At the major drugstores, if you buy certain products, you will get a certain amount of "Extra Bucks" or "Register Rewards," depending on the chain.  You can use these bucks toward any future purchase just as you would cash.  If you work the deals right and keep buying items which yield register rewards using your existing register rewards, you end up getting things for free or even making money.

This brings up the important point of buying only products you will use (or you know someone else needs).  If you're buying something for the sake of "saving, because it's a great deal," it's obviously a waste of money.  

If I'm going to a retail store for clothing or the like, I check the store's website or my email (if I have a customer loyalty account) for deals like 40% off coupons etc.  

If I really like certain products, like Earth's Best, Nuby, Fischer Price etc., I'll become a fan on Facebook (or Twitter), so I know when their deals are happening. 

For online purchases, I basically refuse to pay shipping ever (unless I'm late sending a gift to someone, or the deal is really good even with shipping, or the product is free except for shipping).  You have so many vendor options, why would you?

I also pretty much refuse to pay for magazine subscriptions, because there are so many free deals out there.  The range of things I'm refusing to pay for is steadily growing HAHA. 

Remember that Target's coupon policy is that you can actually use two coupons per item: one manufacturer stacked with one store coupon (marked "Target Store Coupon" at the top).  You can print Target coupons through the store's website.  This can be a great deal.  I've gotten mascara for 24 cents, and free laundry detergent.  They also have a price match guarantee, and if they tell you they don't match certain prices, you can reply that their policy (posted online) does not state that. 


Start a blog!  Blogspot.com allows you to start a blog for free.  Even if you don't write anything in your blog,  you'll have a Dashboard upon logging in that will allow you to simultaneously keep up with as many blogs as you'd like.  You can enter a bunch of money-saving blogs to follow and all the new posts to those blogs will appear on your dashboard in the order they are posted.  At the end of the day, all you have to do is log into Blogspot and scroll down to get an overview of the deals out available that day.  Easy, fast and convenient info-gathering!

Resources: 

www.moneysavingmom.com: Founded by a Christian lady with two kids who wanted to be at home, put her husband through law school and live debt free.  Now that he is working, she continues what she does on the principal of good stewardship (and her website is a good source of income). All current deals are in the Categories tab. There are a lot of money saving blogs out there but this one is concise, full of wisdom and nicely organized. 

http://www.freebies4mom.com/: The best way to utilize this is to search for it on Facebook and "become a fan." Once you do that, her deals will show up on your news wall every day, and you can click the ones you want to advantage of. 

http://www.couponmom.com/ : A great source for advertised and unadvertised grocery deals at all the major chains around the country. 

http://www.freepeats.org/: The website allows moms in major metropolitan areas to post baby and kids' items that they are giving away.  Moms requesting specific items may also post.  It's like a craigslist for moms.  There's usually a small fee to join the group, but in the past, they have offered free sign-ups.

http://www.parentingpriveleges.com/ : If you shop through this portal, you can get an additional 10-40% off from certain retailers.  I think you have to have a subscription to Parenting Magazine, though, so I'll post a free offer when it comes up.  If you have Discover Card, Discover has a similar portal, among a number of other businesses.  Just find one and use it :) 

http://hip2save.blogspot.com  : This lady seems to get the latest scoop really quickly!

www.coupons.com

www.hotcouponworld.com 

I just have too many other things I want to do to try and turn this into a money saving blog...and I really don't have that kind of energy and focus (but I'm grateful for the ladies who do!).  Also, I want my opinions and statements to be free and clear of any association with profit. 

Hope this was informative for some of you!  Night night.  

P.S.  Babies are expensive, but, with a little help from your friends, you'll make it!

Weekend Highlights

I suppose that the weekend's not over, so there might be a Part Deux to this.  

Highlights:

Mike and I attended a Marriage Conference hosted by our church on Friday evening and Saturday.  Because Vera hasn't been able to obtain an H1n1 vaccine yet, we thought better of putting her in childcare and asked my in-laws to watch her.  Highlight of Friday night was getting a full night of uninterrupted rest.  NIGHT OFF!!! WHOOHOO!  We were pleasanly surprised that Vera did just fine with her grandparents and even "sang" hymns with them late into the night.  She also slept 8 hours straight, which hasn't been happening at home...hmmm...  Mike says she was fine with them because she's very securely attached to me.  I was kinda thinking maybe a little sniffling for Momma would signal a secure attachment.  Either way, at least everyone survived in relatively fine shape.

We got home from church around 10pm on Friday and decided to snuggle for a bit before diving into our various hobbies.  We ended up falling fast asleep and woke up in the morning with hard, sticky pink streaks on our arms, face and all over the bed.  Turns out that the gum I was chewing when we jumped into bed had fallen out of my mouth during the night and smeared all over everything.  But get this!  While I meticulously (and painfully) plucked all the gum off of my arm and face, Mike, after showering, decided he'd just leave it on his arm...at least it was clean gum (?!!!).  He's fine with the fact that it will come off eventually, and he wears dress shirts that cover his arms to work anyway (again, ?!!!).  Therein, you have deep insight into our relationship and the differences that unite us.  I have to admit that this gesture is disgustingly poignant.

Our reactions to being home without Vera were also varied and interesting.  I kept picturing her here and there, with her big smiles and hysterical giggles.  I was saddened by the empty bottles on the counter.  My body felt empty without someone kicking and pulling at it.  I kept my voice down even though there was no one to wake up.  Mike said, "Honey, she'll be home tomorrow!  Enjoy the night!"  and seemed to relish his evening thoroughly.  Not that he didn't express any desire to be with our baby - I guess he's just better at appreciating the moment :)

The Marriage Conference was taught by Don and Jean McClure, who are great speakers and gifted, humorous teachers.  They gave very practical messages on Ephesians 5, which most everyone studies if they go to premarital counseling but almost no one practices due to its difficult calling.  After the conference, I told Don that he was so funny, and he explained that he lightens his teaching deliberately because so many couples are already so defeated in their relationships.  So true!  Here are some of my notes:

Session 1 - Eph. 5:15-21 The Role of the Holy Spirit

Our relationship with the Holy Spirit determines the quality of every other relationship.  A husband/wife/kid problem is actually a God problem, as it takes God to accomplish anything.  We fail if we expect our husband/wife/kid to fulfill us, because Scripture says that we are to be filled with the Holy Spirit.  Through the Spirit, we receive attributes we wouldn't otherwise be able to attain:

a) Joy - true joy comes only from God, not the perfect man, woman, child, job, house, car, bank account etc. 

b) Gratitude - true gratitude is what God grants a Christian.  It is seen in Jesus' ability to continually give thanks to the Father even though surrounded by hopelessness. 

c) Submission - submitting to each other is the opposite of getting our way.  The submissive attitude is to be determined to win together, and if not together, then we both lose.  

The natural, fallen, carnal nature cannot achieve these things, so we must stop accusing, blaming, looking to the other person.  Instead, take your problems up with the Lord, who is willing and able to give them to you.  Therefore, the filling of the Holy Spirit is not an additive to "make your life better"; rather, it is a prerequisite to making any relationship work.

Session 2 - Eph. 5:22-24  The Role of the Wife

To submit to the husband as to the Lord.  Why do we have to submit?  Actually, both man and woman have to submit to that from which they were derived, as a result of the Fall.  Woman to the man, and man to the soil/dust (notice how wrapped up men can become in their work).  

The woman's achievement of this submission HAS to be a miraculous work, because any fool can see that our husbands are not Christ.

What is the point then?  That we learn to trust God in His consistency, as we live our life filled with inconsistencies.  

God's sense of humor:  Women clearly have a much greater understanding of what is going on in the home and are often far more gifted in most areas than the man.  Women are also often more spiritually sensitive and attuned.  Humanly, it makes no sense that man should be the head of the household and that God should call him to lead and hold him accountable for it.  But this the process by which woman is conformed to Christ Jesus, who relinquished himself for mankind. 

There is power in submission.  Men Lead.  Women Influence.  

We are not to be man's servant, mother, nor the Holy Spirit in the man's head.  We are his wife, called to help him.  If we laugh/scoff at his every misstep, he will feel his position of leadership threatened, dig his feet in and stick to his errant plans out of fear and/or stubbornness.  If we stand beside him and offer support, he will turn to our influence when he needs help, because he is not threatened.  

Session 3 - Ephesians 5:25-29  The Role of the Husband

If we take a capitalistic view of life, then any material failing will destroy us.  Husbands  need to believe and act out the fact that the definition of life is: to be conformed to the life of Christ. 

Headship is NOT: Whatever man says, that's the way it is.  I have spoken; therefore let it be.  This is not how God treats us. 

Headship is: Servanthood as modeled by Christ - interceding, carrying burdens, choosing love over force in order to win the bride willingly.

a) Man SANCTIFIES his bride.  The marriage vow "and forsaking all others, I pledge thee my throth (fidelity)"  means that the bride surpasses everyone else in importance & preeminence.  The bride is "set apart" in her own realm.  The universe will be folded up one day and Christ will have only his Bride (the church).  Analogously, children, friends, relatives will all leave one day, and we will have our marriage.  There is a reason the bride walks down the aisle "passing" everyone else in importance: coworkers, friends, relatives, parents. 

b)  Man CLEANSES his bride.  Just as God does not motivate us by telling us continually where we fall short, man should not make his bride feel that she is just not "enough" for him (whether domestically, physically, sexually etc).  She will get lost in trying to be someone else or make it to "enough" and both of you lose who God made her to be.  With her husband, woman should feel just so loved, so cherished, so clean.

c) Man leads BY THE WORD.  Man is responsible and accountable before God for whether or not he leads his household.  Children can often tell whether the woman leads or the man leads a household, and there is a profound difference.  The Scripture says that man will present back to himself one day his work (just as Christ will), so invest in this work he is responsible to do in woman.  Scripture commands man to love the woman as his own body.  We never become angry with our body for needing daily maintenance and care, for needing satisfying food.  Man always find a way to achieve its needs.  This is no less true and necessary with regard to the bride's needs.  

Session 4 - Do You See This Woman?  Men's Session (this is based off of what Mike shared with me)

Women need to feel loved above all else. 
Figure out how she receives love and find a way, any way to JUST DO IT. 

Concept of maintenance.  Your wives need daily maintenance.  Things will not be in working order if you neglect their maintenance. 

Women often feel overwhelmed by their long to-do lists.  They REALLY appreciate it when you jump in and take responsibility for a few tasks.

*Funny story: After the break-out session, I asked Mike what they learned in the men's session.  He said, "Oh, to love your wife.  And I was thinking to myself, 'Man! I do all of that!  I'm GOOD!'" I rolled my eyes and said, "I'm DOOMED!!!"  Funny moment; we laughed. 

Session 5 - Practical Tips on Loving Your Husband.  Women's Session 

Top Needs of Women:

Affection, Conversation, Honesty and Openness (we care greatly about what is going on inside), Financial Support and Family Commitment.

Top Needs of Men:

Respect, Sexual Fulfillment, Recreational Companionship (take interest in their interests), Attractive Spouse (do the best we can), Domestic Support, Admiration (they still want to play hero).  Notice that conversation is not at the top of a man's list.  

How we choose to behave as wives and mothers speak loudly to all generations watching us.  We can either turn people toward or away from the Lord based solely based on how we treat our spouse and our children.  We must learn to be married and count the cost of our choices.  God stretches us not to break us, but to increase our faith.  1 Pe 3:1; Prov. 14:1; Prov 12:3; Ps. 37:25.

Top three issues that lead to divorce:

1) Finances - It doesn't matter who pays the bills (just bec/ man is head doesn't mean he has to do it).  What is important is that both people are aware of what the checkbook ledger looks like, so they can be equally frugal.  The key to this is communication and letting each other know what is going on re: finances.  It is helpful to set a dollar limit above which husband and wive need to consult with each other.  e.g. $50.  

2) Children - Wise old saying: The best thing you can do for your children is to love your husband.  Do NOT put husbands last.  Will be detrimental to all family relationships.  Do devotionals with children, because they will carry that with them forever.

3) Romantic/Physical Part - Be thankful, because without this, men probably wouldn't marry us (that's why it's so foolish to give it away before marriage for nothing).  Men physically require sex to feel healthy.  If we excel at one room in the house, let it be the bedroom.  Other women, who dress up for work every day, are competing with you for your husband.  Give them good reasons to want to come home every day.  Praise, don't punish your husbands.  Tell the Lord his faults, but tell him his good attributes.  Think of one compliment every day of your life for him.  If it's a really tough day, be thankful that he came home to you.  

Invest in your marriage because it will be returned to you; don't give up.  

Do it, don't just hear it. 

After the conference, we went to Costco and some other stores to pick up household necessities.  Funny story that Mike told me tonight (Sat.).  Vera started crying a couple of hours after falling asleep for the night.  He walked into her room and found her standing in her crib, wide awake.  He laid her back down and explained, 'Vera, you need to sleep or else you'll upset Mommy.'  Vera gave a gesture of acquiescence and went straight back to sleep.  My two cutie pies!  

Family Game Night!

If you like board games like Mike and I do, hurry to Target and Toys R Us!  That is actually a gross understatement.  Mike and I LOVE board games and Game Night.  We can't wait until Vera gets old enough to play games.  Heck, we'll have another one just to make four at the table...just kidding...kind of :)  

Tonight, I got:

Candyland for $1.99 (reg. $8.99)

Hungry Hungry Hippos for $11.99 (reg. $19.99)

Operation for $9.99 (reg. $16.99)

Mrs. Potato Head for $1.99 (reg. $6.99)

Connect 4x4 for $9.99 (reg. $19.99)

Cranium Family Edition for $11.99 (reg. $24.99)

Family Game Night Trophy for FREE (reg. $9.99)

$10 Toys R Us Gift Card for FREE


Here's how to get the deals:
At Toys R Us, Hasbro games are on sale (avg. $5 off each).  Some of the games, like Operation, Battleship etc. offer a FREE Family Game Trophy along with purchase.  When you spent $25 or more on Hasbro board games, you get a FREE $10 Toys R Us gift card.  Don't forget to take a Toys R Us Family Game Night Rebate sheet available at the board game display (or Google it and print it out).  You can mail it in for an additional $2 to $3 dollars back on each game.  NOTE: for the best deal, select games that are on the rebate sheet, on sale, offer a Family Night Trophy, and buy more than $25 worth of them.  After sale, rebates and $10 gift card, I spent $16.77 on four games!

At Target, you will need to use coupons.  Many of the games are on sale.  Use the $5 coupons available in the Target Toy Book from the Sunday paper OR here.  The website says you can stack the store coupon and the manufacturer coupon to get $10 off per game, but my Target location didn't allow me to stack bec/ the store coupon had an exclusivity clause on it.  Doesn't hurt to try it though, right?  NOTE: for best deal, purchase games which are on sale and have a coupon associated with it.   For the Mr./Mrs. Potato Head or Spud Bud, use the $5 here (click on the Toys and Games link on the left to help you find it).  Final price on Spud Buds will end up being $0.99 and Mr. or Mrs. Potato Heads will be $1.99.  

Other good deals at Target include $0.57 on a tub of 72 alcohol-free Up&Up baby wipes with this coupon (NOTE: limit one per customer).  A full size Spray & Wash for $0.79 with a $1.25 off coupon (sorry, forgot where I got it).  


The Target deals expire on 11/25.  I'm not sure when the Toys R Us deals end.

Take some time with your family and/or friends this season and spend it around a fun board game!  My memories of playing Monopoly with my parents and grandmother on Sunday afternoons were some of the fondest and most carefree of my life.  Favorite memories of college?  Playing 500 (it's an Australian card game) through the night 'til 6am and then dragging ourselves to class; fifteen Yalies gathered around a tiny Boggle square -- now that is cutthroat competition; Risk, Stratego, Four on a Couch during down times on spring tour with our Christian cappella group.  I think God wants to restore us to that original state of "play" for which we were created: engaged, interested, stimulated, challenged, in fellowship.  That can become so lost in our daily routines and arbitrary ambitions.  Let's play!