Things I Learned from My Dad

Daddy came to visit over Christmas and stayed until New Year's Eve.  He taught me how to make wontons - the right way.  I always thought I was an expert wonton maker, having appropriated my mother's recipe into my repetoire, but it turns out that Dad is the true expert.  I always held to the ONE TRUE wonton recipe: 50% ground pork, 50% minced shrimp,cooking wine, salt and water until the concoction loses its viscosity.  Not so, my dad explained.  My paternal grandparents, for example, like only pork in theirs.  Others prefer chinese leeks and pork.  Some of the crazies even add chopped shitake mushrooms.  The heresy!  

Daddy also has a special way of wrapping the wonton. His wontons don't so much look like gold nuggets as they do a papal crown.  He achieves it by turning the seals packet of meat upside down and attaching the sides of the wrappers instead of the corners.  At least we think that's what he does.  My mom and I have been trying to figure it out for years and have only been able to make close approximations to his wontons.  It must be in the wrist.  

Next, my dad claims that while a percentage of everyone else's wontons get soggy or fall apart, his retain the perfect moisture balance and always stay intact.  He claims he learned this from a professional wonton chef on a business trip years ago.  He brings the water to a rolling boil, throws an entire batch of wontons in, waits until they return to a boil, dumps a large bowl of cold water in, covers and waits for the wontons to float and water to boil yet again.  Wherever he got this technique from, it sure produces results.  I would have to say that he has won our family's generations-long wonton-making contest.  This is from a man who can make steamed rice, but not porridge...who can make fried eggs but not scrambled...and that's about all he can make, beside perfect wontons, that is!

The Master Wonton Chef

I thoroughly enjoy my dad's presence.  He has a way of expressing himself that's inimitable.  My favorite word on this trip was "UNBELIEVABLE!"  Dad, I'd say, guess how much I got this new throw pillow for, or that razor.  I'd tell him, and he'd say "UNBELIEVABLE!" which sent me into a whirl of delight.  I felt like pumping my legs with joy, just like Vera does.

What this visit reminded me of is that I'm eager to please my parents. In Sunday School, we teach the children a simple principle: God placed us in families.  And yet what a profound reality that is.  He gave us people to spend our lives with day in and day out, that we might delight in one another's company, that we might come to appreciate all their intricate makeup, that we might learn to love.  A lover's relationship to his beloved, a child's relationship to her parent, and a parent's experience of her child, sustain us in a beautiful cycle of service and gratitude and love.  Kind of a God clue, no?  An uncannily trinitarian in nature - Tim Keller writes about the love and honor that is shared between the members of the Holy Trinity. How profound, and yet perfectly mundane and easily missed, are the ways in which God demonstrates His reality to us, that we might grasp the things of heaven.  

Anyway, so I want to please my father, both earthly and heavenly, because as I spend more and more time with each, I learn how much I truly love them and how much I appreciate their presence.  From my earthly father, I learn the attitude I am to cultivate with my heavenly father.  From my heavenly Father, I understand just how meaningful are my relationships here on earth, because they are a reflection of a greater reality.

What I did today:

Woke up, gorgeous day today!  crystal clear air...beautiful views of greenery and snow-capped mountains. First item on the agenda, new house stuff - day 1 of hardwood floors, french doors installed today, discussion with contractors etc. 

Brunch at Original Pancake House.  We found a location that serves my spinach & mushroom crepes with a side of four potato pancakes!  I've been ordering that menu item since my Chicago days and visiting Walker Bros Original Pancake House (same logo) on Green Bay Rd.  I've been looking for it for years at other Original Pancake House locations, and have been fruitless until today! It was AWESOME.  My favorite things wrapped into one.

To the bank on bank business with the family after brunch, then shopping.  Mike is hilarious when it comes to any form of shopping other than grocery shopping.  He gets all excited (and sincerely excited, I might add) about going out as a family to browse the deals, but within 20 min. of entering any non-food store, he develops a headache, dons this exhausted, lost expression and has nothing in mind but to get out as quickly as possible.  That's what happened today...AGAIN.  He says there are just too many options and variables to consider when shopping and he just shuts down from the tremendous detail of it all. HAHA.  I think it's really cute, and also, it makes me proud that I can provide for my family in a unique way that he finds challenging :) Well, we got a lot of great deals for the new house today.  We came home and packed a bit more and did chores.  I went back out to Target, CVS and Ralphs to take advantage of some great deals that are set to expire tomorrow. We bathed Vera together, played with her and put her to bed.  She didn't want to sleep, so Mike said to her, "Vera, if you say 'I love you,' Papa will get you out of bed."  And she did it!  She said "AHWOUVOU"  SO CLOSE!  I'm not sure about this bribery tactic, but she seemed really proud that she was able to make the sounds AND get out of bed for a few more minutes of play.  We've been trying to engage her in various ways so that she'll take an interest in learning.  It's tough because she's a strong-willed one and always has a project of her own to attend to...mmmm...sounds like me! GAAAA!

Back to Writing!

Yay!  Time for a little reflection on the overflowing cup that is my life.  What it's overflowing with is another questions (sorry, Mrs. Farris, for the dangling preposition).  

So many experiences I want to write about and so little time with which to do so well!  
Let's just start with the new year and work backwards from there until we get to the toy/clothing swap that happened before Thanksgiving!

Reflections on 2009:
Thankful for all that I learned to love more dearly this year:  my husband, my daughter, the life that we've built together, my extended family here, Southern California - which has gone from soulless desert to a wonderland in my mind during the course of the past six-and-a-half years...my life with God, my daily bread (okay, sometimes it's a big fat taco and maybe I'm a bit too thankful for it), my parents, my upbringing and personal constitution...so many things.


Stand out experiences: 
Too many Vera moments to count!  Just this past week, I had the joy of seeing her throw out her arms with joy and shout "MAMA!" as I walked into the room.  And again, while our family was out for gelato, I seated her on the counter and had one arm around her.  Having her little face next to my chest and looking up at me was just so amazing.  How did this wonderful creature come to be here, and how did she come to me of all people?  Did I ever share the childhood story of when we rented rooms for Mrs. Malone?  I was seven or eight and a lonely little girl.  Even though 93-year-old Mrs. Malone took a liking to me and voluntarily babysat me when I wasn't in school (and her maid prepared our lunches - root beer floats and oven baked french fries :), I could not have friends over to play (and honestly didn't have very many friends being a recent immigrant with funny clothes and a childhood stutter).  I loved the dollhouse she had bought me for my birthday and was inspired to design a miniature mansion myself (yes, already the budding architect).  I collected cardboard for weeks and constructed a nine or ten room ranch style mansion, complete with wallpaper I designed myself.  I moved my dollhouse furniture into it and placed it in the enclosed porch.  And for some reason, I was absolutely convinced that a little friendly fairy would arrive with the morning dew and live in that little house, and be my companion.  I was so convinced, in fact, that I left fresh water and crackers for her everyday for a month.  I remember feeling anxious that she might not be able to get into the porch when we had to hook the screen door for the night (simpler times back then).  Well, she never did come and eventually, I used the walls of that house for other art projects.  I've told Mike this story in the past.  One day a few months ago, he was watching me play with Vera, and he said to me, "Honey, your fairy came to live with you!"  She really did.



Filming the promo with Operation Christmas Child based on my blog posting was definitely a once-in-a-lifetime event and such so eye opening.  The whole thing was God-inspiring from start to finish.  I just happened to start a blog because of prenatal depression.  I just happened to have an idea for an in-lieu-of-birthdays-shoebox-packing-party.  We just happened to take photos that night. I just happened to look up OCC on a whim on Facebook and came across the blog contest.  I just happened to decide to write about the event against my initial inclination to keep my right and left hand separate :)  It just happened to work out for the broadcasting crew to come out to film us because we live so close to the OC Processing Center where a press event had been scheduled.  The entire experience from start (the shoebox party itself) to finish (the OCC press event and meeting Franklin Graham) was uplifting and awe-inspiring.  Getting to know our film crew was also such a blessing.


I've enjoyed the community of women I've gotten to build this year, from deepening bonds with existing friends, to meeting moms in random places and bonding, to spending more time at church and forming more relationships, to the mom's group I started for my condo community.  The concerns that we can all understand and the things that make us unique have been so interesting and engaging.


2010 Resolutions:
Well, I'm still working on those 10 lbs, which are now more like 15.  I'm going the exercise route more than I'm going to sacrifice eating.  Physically, I'd like to have more energy and lose the loose belly.  I'd like to reap mental/emotional benefits too.  


I'd like to cultivate my prayer life more, especially with regard to my immediate family.  I need to stop running sometimes and take care of what's most important.  It's like my hobby of finding good shopping deals.  Sometimes, I get a little annoyed at "having" to engage Vera when I'd rather be reading up on amazing deals online.  But obviously, I picked up this hobby in an effort to give her the best I could offer her.  If I want to take care of her physically/materially, how much more do I want what's best for her emotionally/spiritually?  It's obvious, but sometimes our brains get stuck :)  We're so used to checking off our list that we forget why we made the list in the first place! 


I'd like to be a better wife to my husband.  I'm not saying I'm a bad wife; in fact, I don't believe that I'm a delinquent wife.  However, I have been listening to Mike, and he sometimes feels as if he's not being heard or that I'm not taking his needs into account.  We both know that we try the best we can for each other, and that he is especially sensitive to issues of being considered, noticed and heard because of his birth order (middle).  This year, I'd like to find new ways to show him how important and unique he is.  One way that I've thought about is to pack him a special lunch whenever he doesn't have noon conference.  When he has overnight call, I sometimes pack him snacks that he likes and decorate the bag and add some little notes inside.  I think he appreciates these silly little gestures more than I can understand.  However, I'm thankful that through our marital work in 2009, he's felt much more free to express his needs and that our communication as a whole has dramatically improved.  


What I did today:
Woke up at my in-laws after staying there for the turn of the decade last night.  Came home, showered and changes, and headed to church for crafts.  After crafts, had lunch with Mike and Vera at home, did some chores and errands, talked to my parents on Skype, dropped Vera back off with the in-laws and went out with Mike to watch Sherlock Holmes...two thumbs up.  We hadn't been to the movies in months!  After the movie, picked up Vera, dropped off/picked up stuff from a friends, went on a fruitless search for green tea boba (the place we tried was closed for the holiday), came home, put Vera to bed and enjoyed a few hours of "me" time!  Mike gave me a quick neck massage - how good his touch feels!  I wonder if it's just me or if he just have gifted healing hands...I'm sure they feel especially good to me because I love him. 

Notes to Self

Vera learned to drink from a twisty straw tonight by imitating her Daddy!  On top of that, she was drinking chocolate milk with her Chick-fil-A chicken strips kids meal.  Sooooo cute, those apple cheeks and ruby lips all puckered up!  Eatin' like a pro :)  We're not sure she's aware that her caloric needs will decrease in this next year.  We'll see if her weight starts flying off the charts and then step in if necessary HAHA.


Other cool "tricks" she knows now:

• "yeh-yeh-yeh" - calling Her YeYe (Grandpa), especially when she's in trouble...like when Mama's trying to hold her to take a nap.  This is a relief bec/ Mike and I were concerned that she has only been fixated on four different words "Ma-ma" "Da-da" (and the variant Da-Dee) "Nein-nein" and "Pa-pa" this past month...and that's only one or two vowels.  She had more vowels than that when she started vocalizing at three months.  But just this past week, her babbling's become much more varied :)  Yes, the travails we paranoid parents endure!
  

• Clap-clap-clap...pray (clasp hands together) - taught to her by her Gpa&Gma!

• When at the piano, press one key at a time rather than banging on a bunch

• How to open the yellow door on her knob toy!  It's a toy that lets the baby manipulate five different types of switches (side-to-side, up and down, teeter-totter, button and turnkey).  A different animal pops up with each switch.  She used to only be able to manipulate the button, but now she can do the teeter-totter one (I'm sure there's a better name for it). 
 

• Her upper teeth are FINALLY coming in.  Her lower teeth erupted right after her Gma Lily and Great Gma Diana left at the beginning of August.  And all four lower front teeth came in at the same time.  We thought the upper two would soon follow, but we waited months and nothing!  It seems like she's been working hard on them, though, because all four front teeth are appearing at the same time.  Haha!  Always making an entrance!

Missing Music

Vera's first birthday party is on Saturday.  My husband and I, as usual, selected an esoteric theme for it: music.  What can be done?  We're conceptual people.  After all kinds of (positive) madness this past month, I finally cleared time to buckle down and get to planning the event this week.  Thankfully, Evite is so user-friendly that at least the invites got sent out ahead of time!

This morning, Vera's grandparents were gracious enough to babysit her for the day while I tried to make the bulk of my purchases for the party.  Local grandparents - what a blessing!  I carefully combed through the Teacher Supply store by our house (that place is such an educational wonderland - I can't wait until V gets a little older...I know, you're thinking "poor Vera!").  Anyway, I was able to locate some educational music posters and music note cut-outs in the remote corners of the store.  The selection at the next stop, Party City, proved even more meager-mostly inappropriate 50's, 70's, 80's, Idol music themed adult party equipment.

When I finally got to Michael's, I was hopeful.  "It's Christmas season," I thought, "There are bound to be angels with trumpets and harps and all kinds of representations of heavenly music from the Christmas story."  What I found were styrofoam holly with plastic leaves, lots of bears dressed up in scarves and hats, smiley snowmen, and candy galore.  Not a single trumpet, harp or bell in sight, and this was a big Michael's in the city of Irvine!

I could write about how music education and appreciation has degenerated into Top 10 Lists and American Idol, but I won't.  What saddened me far more was the loss of Christmas.  I wondered as I wandered (get it? HAHA), what sense of awe children in today's relativistic, humanistic society, could possibly glean from celebrating Christmas.  Dressed up bears and men in red suits, with lots of candy in the mix, amounts to nothing but the American Halloween - a novel opportunity to dress ourselves up and indulge in some escapist behavior.  But Christmas!  Christmas is about the wonder of a star shining SO brightly that it impressed shepherds who regularly navigated by the stars.   It is a night when the heavens opened up and music poured forth in joyful heavenly chorus.  It is about a flurry of angelic messengers, appearing left and right in the years and months leading up to that night.  It is about the ancient wisdom and divine revelation that somehow led three sages from the Far East to a small town in the Middle East, seeking a King laid in a barn.  Ultimately, it is about a love so strong, that the Lover could no longer bear to be apart from His Beloved.  Instead, He willed to humble Himself and suffer this earthly existence in order to take away her burden of ages past.  Christmas is no escape.  It is no bandage temporarily applied to our weary lives.  It offers life itself to those who will look upon it's mystery and beauty.  By comparison, how paltry and lifeless was the scene at Michael's today!  Why do we trade the privilege of looking upon heaven itself for street scenes and plaster snowflakes?  I don't know, but I'd better ask myself what plaster snowflakes I'm clutching while missing the real deal.

I'm off to bed.  Have I completed my 10 Things I'm Thankful for Today list yet?  (For those following the Depression/Anxiety strain of this blog, this is another very powerful tool)  Let's see, I'm thankful for 1) Music 2) Local Grandparents 3) Evite, Blogspot and other handy Internet tools 4) Our local Teacher Supply Store (hoping it stays in business for a long time!) 5) Herald Angels singing 6) Shepherds who Heard on High 7) Christ Away in a  manger 8) [They] Three Kings of Orient 9) What came Upon a Midnight Clear 10) and finally, the beauty I get to witness every day in the people and earth around me.

Don't worry about Vera's party.  It's going to be a blast.  I managed to cull together lots of supplies, and we're going to have a Wish Book Station; a Make-Vera-a-Future-Bday-Card station (so she has a card made on her first bday every year until she's 18); a Photo Station; a Musical Play Area and lots of great food, and even more fun activities and games.  My family and I are really excited for Saturday!

 

New Milestones

These little apple seek is growing so fast!  Today, Vera started "giving" things to us.  When we prompt her with "Vera, can you give Papa the block?"  She smiles and offers it.  Then we call clap and laugh!  She loves it.  I have a feeling I'm going to be offered all kinds of random objects in the days to come :)
V seems more confident in her communication skills.  She's been mimicking a lot of gestures, from clap-clap-clap-"pray" (intertwine fingers) to "up up" (pointing toward the ceiling) when she wants to be liberated from some place.  We're waiting for her to start saying new syllables beyond da-da, ma-ma, nein-nein, pa-pa, da-dy.  I love how when she's frustrated sometimes, she lets out a big GAAAAH!  hahahaha.  It seems like she had more vowels in her between 3-6 months, but that was probably not conscious on her part.  At 3 months, we could have sworn that she imitated the sounds for "I LOVE you" several times.  No matter; we're just so excited about communicating with her in greater depths!  


I'm so busy these days, I need to write a blog about the blogs I want to write!

I'd like to blog about our family's experience filming the Operation Christmas Child video and meeting Franklin Graham.

I'd like to blog about developments in our marriage.  

I wanted to start writing some reflections and meditations on Scripture readings.


I'd like to blog about all the cool new online resources I've been using - including the free MP3 downloads available from Amazon!  


But first, need to get through V's 1st Bday, Christmas shopping and moving house...all of which I'll probably want to blog about.  Gaaaah!  Blog backlog!

I Rocked the Day!

I don't hear about this happening very often, but IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED TO ME!!!  Everything just click, click, clicked into place today!  Get a load of this:

Wake up.  Vera's a morning person as usual.  We get ready, load the car, and arrive at Gma/Gpa's by 8:30AM.  The driver's side rear tire has been leaking air for the past two days, and I was wondering how far I would get on it.  We made it, and the Mazda dealership right by the house agreed to take it in by 9 and have it done by 10AM.  

By 10:10AM, Vera, Gma and I were cruising to get V her H1n1 vaccine, which I had been unable to find anywhere until I just happened to mention it to a friend of a friend at a toy swap (more about that later).  A random pediatric office in Ladera Ranch has them stocked and is giving them out to the community!  By 11:30AM, we were headed north for lunch at a low key but yummy noodle and small eats place with V's grandparents.  

By 1:00PM, I had already called and faxed our mortgage company, thus completing the paperwork for our loan mod.  I even had five minutes to sit in the car and contemplate how much I admire cattails.  Tangent alert.  Last night, I read an article in Redbook Mag about self-reflection, and one of the pointers was to think about the people to whom you are grateful as a clue into what you may want to become.  Well, I decided today, while sitting in the car waiting for V to wake up from her nap, that I wanted to be like a cattail.  They're beautiful in a very natural way, not painted ladies, not loud, not huge/not tiny.  They just are what they are.  If you think about it, they're kind of funny looking, all fuzzy and brownish-purple, but they communicate simplicity and grace and beauty all the same.  I like how their fuzziness kind of filters sunlight and plays with it.  I'd like to be that way God's light.  I enjoy their flexibility, how they sway and dance with the breezes.  Finally, I like how they like one another.  I've never seen a solitary cattail.  In fact, that would probably not be very attractive.  But a nice, big healthy outcropping of cattails provides solace and mirth in the middle of the day.  Take note: Luan would like to grow in cattail-ness.

After Vera woke up, we went  back into Gma/Gpa's house, and she bonded with them while I ran some errands.  Gas, bank and then off to the City of Anaheim to pull a building permit for our loft addition.  The plans were approved on Monday, and I had to sign some paperwork and pay the fee before we can start demo at the house.  I've not a huge fan of government buildings, and the wait at the Bldg. Dept. counter was more than an hour.  The sterile environment, the lack of ventilation, the tedium (forgot to bring interesting reading), the questionable customer service, made me associate it with prison.  I'm sure prison is far far worse than a well run Building Dept. in a large city; I'm just spoiled.   Anyway, the permit thing had to be done, and it got done.  I was glad to be out of there.  

Got back to Gma/Gpa's at 4:30PM, and found my lovey taking her afternoon nap.  I got to curl up next to her for a good hour's nap.  Drove home at 6PM with dinner from Gma in the backseat and a clean load of laundry (our washer is broken; a new one's on its way).  My man had just arrived home as well, and the three of us had our usual dinner with updates.  I told Mike that Vera is now signing "more" and "ball", but she does both the signs by clapping her hands...which looks exactly like...clapping her hands.  So... not sure if we made any progress on that front :) 

After dinner, Dad and Vera got some bonding time, while I went off to Target to pick up my prescription and do some shopping.  As per the general blessedness of the day, my doctor had faithfully called in my Synthroid (good thing, because I had taken the last one in the morning and tomorrow is Turkey Day), and I ended up spending $30 on $60 of necessities.  I'm especially proud of this deal I put together for Nivea products.  I had a coupon for B1G1 Nivea Q10 Lip Therapy.  I stacked that with a $1 off Nivea Target coupon.  On top of that, I had another coupon that said that if I buy three Nivea Lip Therapy products, I'd get a free 13.5oz full size Nivea Body Lotion.  The bonus is that I'd already been using Nivea Q10 Lip Therapy, and it's great product.  In the end, I got $20 worth of Nivea products for $5.50.   Be on the look out for deals like that!  If you see a lot of different coupons for a single product line, clip them all, and chances are that you're about to get a great deal!  

After Target, I was onto church at 8:15PM.  Our family is part of a care team for two missionary friends in Costa Rica, and the team is putting on a tamale sale to bolster their finances (that is my kind of sale).  Sales start on Saturday, but we will be in San Francisco, and my task was to decorate the info board.  I got the Cricut out and started making die-cuts.  Everything was up, I'm happy with how it turned out, and I was home by 10PM.  Phew!  What a day! Glad that tomorrow will be more celebrating and less about work!  Although I would not and could not do this everyday, I'm so thankful for my full and varied life, and everyone in it.  Thanks, dear Lord, for blessing me with favor, efficiency, insight and love today!  Love You.

Thankful List: Monday

It's Thanksgiving week, so I'm going to list ten things I'm thankful for every day this week (we'll see how consistent I can be):


1. The sound of Vera's hearty laugh.  Most wonderful sound ever!
2. Mike's steadfast heart. 

3. My neighborhood - reflects a dedicated group of individuals.
4. My church body - sweet fellowship that melts away all anxiety.
5. The fact that we really can make a difference in this life.  That there are lessons to be learned.  That we were designed to contribute to this world.  That there really is meaning and purpose. 
6. Tamales - especially the green kind with chicken.
7. Being able to stay home for my daughter's first year and enjoy her friendship.
8. Skype - lets me stay close to my parents; allows us to converse with our missionaries.
9. The message of the Christian Gospel.  Truth, grace and consequences.
10. Cattails - one of my favorite plants to look at :)